


She's a Catch

by okaybispearl



Series: Romance Bingo [1]
Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Crystal Gems, F/F, Fake/Pretend Relationship, POV Lesbian Character, Shy Bismuth
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-12
Updated: 2020-08-12
Packaged: 2021-03-06 00:20:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,055
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25864258
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/okaybispearl/pseuds/okaybispearl
Summary: The Crystal Gem's go on a mission to catch Bluebird, but our favorite blacksmith has a little distraction.(FAKE RELATIONSHIP FOR ROMANCE BINGO)
Relationships: Amethyst & Garnet (Steven Universe), Aquamarine/Eyeball (Steven Universe), Bismuth & Pearl (Steven Universe), Bismuth/Pearl (Steven Universe), Lapis Lazuli & Peridot (Steven Universe)
Series: Romance Bingo [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1876822
Comments: 2
Kudos: 13





	She's a Catch

**Author's Note:**

> This is totally inspired by that one episode of Brooklyn Nine-Nine. Like I basically copied it but SHHHH.

Prolouge~

Pearl raced into the office and skitted to a halt, seeing her friends in various positions across the room.

"It's about time," Peridot said, rolling her eyes. Lapis smirked at Peridot and in return, rolled her eyes.

"Am I late?" Pearl asked, eyes widened. She shuffled her hands quietly behind her back.

"Yeah. Even I was here before you," Amethyst said, from her bean bag chair, with a small hint of surprise in her voice, while still trying to sound cool and collected.

Pearl smeared her dainty fingers down her face, leaving faint pink marks. "I'm sorry, everyone is trying to get to that new restaurant that opened yesterday. So much traffic..".

"It's alright. Just sit down," Bismuth said, patting the space on the sofa beside her. Pearl nodded while smiling, and sat down beside the larger gem.

Pearl's tired eyes twitched. Bismuth put her hand on Pearl's shoulder, and looked down at her. Pearl mouthed 'thank you' and leaned against her friend's arm.

"Okay, are we all seated?" Garnet asked solemnly. Pearl looked around the room, and nodded.

"Steven says he got reports of Bluebird Azarite working at that new restaurant Pearl mentioned," Garnet announced clasping her hands together, her gems clashing. The energy in the room turned tense. Pearl perked up and stood up from her postion on Bismuth's arm.

"That fusion that tried to kill Greg?" Peridot scowled.

"Aquamarine and Eyeball. The did say that they would be back," Pearl murmered, the tips of her fingers on her bottom lip.

"Mhm. They are taking out humans left and right. Somehow they got hired at that restaurant. What's it called? Like- 'Le Meatballs' or something?" Amethyst asked, cocking an eyebrow.

"It's an Olive Garden, Amethyst," Garnet said.

"Oooooh, like the place with the breadsticks?" Amethyst questioned, stars lighting up her eyes as she thought of the food.

"This isn't about The Olive Garden. it's about the employees at The Olive Garden. We've gotten reports of Bluebird harassing humans. That's why I'll be putting you in teams," Garnet explained.

Garnet got up from her seat, and walked over to Amethyst's shiny, blue bean bag chair. "Bismuth and Pearl, you are partners. You will be in the restaurant undercover as a newly-engaged couple. Make sure to hide your gems in your clothing, do your hair. Make sure you look different," Garnet said seriously, staring at the two. Pearl looked at Bismuth, who gave her a quick goofy smile and turned her head away quickly. A bit strange.

"Lapis, Peridot; you will be outside in the back waiting to catch Bluebird. You must always be alert."

"What about me?" Amethyst asked, leaning further into her chair. 

"You're coming with me. I'm not going to have you get distracted. This is our first mission in a while," Garnet responded cold, yet genuinely.

"What do you mean? I can control myself! I'm great on missions," she said in a sly tone. Garnet raised her eyebrows. "Okay, fine, I'll come with you." 

Garnet looked back to the rest of the room. "We must start as soon as possible. I'll put more info about the time in the Little Homeschool Group Chat. Is that clear?" Garnet demanded, gazing at Amethyst, Lapis, Peridot, Bismuth, and Pearl each individually. They all simultaniously responded with "yes", and set into their own small groups.

Pearl looked beside her partner for the mission. She stood up. "See you then Bismuth!", she shouted, walking out the room.

At Bismuth's Home In The School~

Oh. My. God. This is going to be tough.

Bismuth looked up at herself in the mirror, Admiring her outfit. Bismuth had her thick rainbow dreadlocks tied up in a full ponytail, instead of her usual half-up. She wore the white button up she wore to the roller rink with Pearl, and paired it with some fancy black overalls. She slid on some slick dark shoes, and headed to her room. 

She looked at her nightstand, and saw the ring she had made specifically for this mission. It was white with a hint of silver. The one she made for Pearl was the exact same. She had to physically restrain herself from melting onto the floor in a fit of excitement/fear when Garnet told her she had to pretend to be in a relationship with Pearl.

You're Bismuth! It's just a crush! A crush can't keep you from stopping that uppercrust! Bismuth had told herself a thousand times before. Why did she always feel like this around Pearl? She always had an interest in the former-warrior, but her feelings were especially strong right about now. 

Well for one, Pearl was gorgeous, It's extremely obvious. She basically picked up everyone in sight. With her new form, everything looked right. But, it's much more than her looks. She was smart, funny, confident, yet still modest at the same time. Plus they've been close for so long, Bismuth knows her better than she knows herself.

Pearl will never get over Rose, though. Bismuth tries to tell herself that Pearl is ready for a relationship. Or is she? NO! STOP! She doesn't like you like that anyways! Bismuth says to herself time and time again, looking into the mirror with a more intense stare. You're going to be fine, she's picking you up in a few min-

Bismuth heard a knocking at the door. Okay, okay, okay, you can do it.

She stepped over to the door, and turned the shiny, golden doorknob carefully. On the other side there was a beautifully-dressed Pearl. Elegant as always, her bangs that usually stuck up, were spread across her forehead, covering her gem. She had a clear-blue headband, and a golden sash around her waist, reminiscing her old form. Her dress was pale blue, nothing too fancy, but not nearly as casual as her usual jacket. It had small ruffles on it and it draped below her shoulder. They were frail, but somehow still showed a hint of muscle. She had the ring Bismuth made for the mission on her finger.

"Hi!" Pearl said, smiling and tilting her head to the side. Bsimuth blushed, not because Pearl was doing anything particularily romantic, but just because it was Pearl.

Bismuth was speachless for a second, but then looked back at Pearl's face. "H-hey! You look gorgeous!" Bismuth shouted. Why did you say that? That was creepy. You aren't actually together. Bismuth expected for Pearl to be taken aback, but instead she blushed, teal filling a small spot on her cheekbones.

"Thank you," she laughed. God, Bismuth loved it when she did that. "So should we get going?"

"Yeah! Let's get that uppercrust!" Bismuth growled playfully, punching her fist.

"Okay, let's go," Pearl said, grasping Bismuth's arm, and pulling her towards the van.

Pearl pulled open the passenger seat for Bismuth. Bismuth ducked low, and got into the van. As Pearl walked around to the other side to get into the drivers seat, Bismuth heard the click of her seatbelt. Pearl did the same with hers. She put her keys into the van and heard it rev.

They started driving to the restaurant. "Okay, let's go over it. My name in Lindsay, your name is Margaret. We have been engaged for 2 weeks. We are not gems as far as Aquamarine and Eyeball know," Pearl explained. Bismuth nodded. They kept driving, chatting more about the plan on the way.

At The Restaurant~ 

"Here are your seats!" said the human woman, whipping her brown locks out of her face.

"Thank you," Pearl smiled, locking hands with her "fiance", sitting down at the table with another couple.

"Where is Bluebird supposed to be?" Bismuth whispered in her ear.

"I think she's a waitress," Pearl mumbled leaning towards Bismuth.

A lady looked at Pearl and Bismuth's hands, both with rings and gasped. She was like a real-life Barbie doll. "When did you get married!?" she asked, admiring the rings.

Bismuth and Pearl stopped mumbling and looked at eachother. "Oh-uh, we just got engaged," Bismuth laughed, holding Pearl's tiny hand in her sweaty palm.

The woman gasped even louder "Wow, congratulations!" She gushed. "I'm Winny, this is my husband Marco!" She said, pointing to the man beside her, who seemed to have zero interest in the conversation.

"Oh, uh, congratulations to you aswell! I'm Lindsay, and this is my wife Margaret," Pearl said, becoming increasingly nervous. "I-um-have to go to.. the bathroom! Margaret you should come with me!" Pearl grabbed Bismuth's arm and pulled her across the room into the restroom.

"We should check up on Lapis and Peridot," Pearl mumbled under her breath.

"Good idea," Bismuth murmered back, coming from behind and putting her hands over Pearl's shoulders.

"Hi," Pearl's breath caught between the communicator.

"Have you seen that clod yet?" Peridot's distinctive voice also ran through.

"No, not yet. we haven't had our orders taken," Bismuth whispered, wary that the restroom they were in was a public area.

"Then why did you leave? You need to wait for her! What if she's your waitress?" Peridot asked.

Pearl glanced up at Bismuth and quickly looked back at the communicator. "I-I don't know. You're right let's get back," she said, before shutting off the device. Why'd she look at me? Was I making her uncomfortable? Bismuth thought, before chasing after a speedy Pearl.

They sat back down. "Your meal is on us, we're feeling generous tonight, aren't we Marco?" Winny gushed, latching onto Marco's arm.

"Uh, yeah, sure whatever," he responded before looking away.

After a bit of waiting, a waiter came by to take their orders. "Hi I'm your waitress, my name is Blue. What can I get you tonight?" said a small creature, with an eyeball missing, replaced with a small red ruby gem.

Pearl glanced up at Bismuth from her seat, and quickly said "Herm-hem-hem uhm could I order a-uh salad," Pearl asked.

"Me too," Bismuth mumbled, face turned downwards to look at her ring.

"What size? It comes in small and large." Bluebird asked, flipping her notepad forwards.

"Small," Pearl answered.

"And.. would you like a drin-".

"No thanks! We're okay!" Bismuthy chimed in, smiling too big to be genuine.

"Okay, your food will be with you shortly," Bluebird said, raising an eyebrow as she walked away.

The waiter that was serving Winny and Marco walked away after aswell.

Winny whipped back around to face Pearl and Bismuth. "So, how long have you lovebirds known each other?" The middle-aged woman asked, looking at them fondly.

"Oh-um," Bismuth looked at Pearl. "6 years...?" She responded, unsure of her words. 

"We've known each other for 6 years, but been together for 3 years!" Pearl corrected, clapping her hands together.

"Wow! Marco and I have been together for 2 years! How did your relationship start? Were you friends before, or..?" Winny asked, smacking her lips together.

"Oh, um. I was in love with someone else for the longest time," she said.

"I'm so sorry, did I bring it up at a bad time sweetheart?" she asked, tilting her head, her big hair bouncing to the right.

"Oh stars no! It's fine! Besides, I've moved on, and that person just happens to be the only person I want to spend my life with," Pearl responded putting her hands over the larger gem's. Bismuth blushed, HARD.

The couple talked with Bismuth and Pearl for a few minutes, before they saw a different waitress come up to them with their food.

"Hi! I had to switch out with your previous server, I'm Callie. I just thought I should let you know," the new waitress spoke, much different than Bluebird.

"Do you know if we'll see her again?" Pearl demanded.

"N-no ma'am I have no idea," Callie explained.

"Okay, thank you," Bismuth responded kindly, motioning Pearl to sit down. Callie walked away.

"I'm going to tell Garnet," Bismuth grabbed Pearl and started walking to a corner, where there seemed to be nobody. Bismuth pulled out her communicator and dialed it.

"Hi. Have you seen Bluebird in the restaurant yet?" Garnet asked, holding the device close to her face.

Bismuth and Garnet argued back and forth, until Pearl saw a small body flying by. It was Bluebird! Pearl looked at Bluebird, and she in turn looked back before Pearl quickly whipped her head back to Bismuth. She grabbed the communicator out of her large hands and hid it behind her back. Bismuth gave her a confused glance before Pearl grabbed Bismuth's shoulders and kissed her. Although Bismuth was shocked, Bismuth played along, and layed her hands around her small hips. Pearl locked her lips closer, making it hard to breath, but she didn't care. This was about the task at hand. Bluebird stared a little longer, shook her head, and walked away from her spot. 

Pearl released from the kiss, gazing at Bismuth, before looking away. Bismuth's cheeks turned an extremely dark shade of purple, spreading across her nose.

"I-I um.. wha-", Bismuth stuttered, trying to figure out what just happened. 

"Bluebird was walking past, I didn't want her to hear you talking to Garnet. Our ah-uh, uhm, cover could have been blown," Pearl explained, studying her partner's face. She coughed, and backed away from Bismuth. "We should get back on task."

"Should we go find Garnet and Amethyst? I think our work here is done," Bismuth questioned, scratching her head awkwardly.

In the Van, with Garnet, Amethyst, Pearl, and Bismuth~

The four gems were seated in the van Pearl took on the way to the restaurant. Garnet and Amethyst had gotten there earlier. Pearl sat in the driver's seat, Garnet sat in the passenger seat, and the two other gems sat in the backseats.

"How did it go?" Garnet asked quietly, flipping her binder she carried with her on various different missions.

"Great!" Bismuth lied, causing Amethyst to flinch beside her.

"You sound SO guilty. What actually happened?" Amethyst asked, smirking, hand holding her chin.

"We kissed," Pearl mumbled, knowing what Amethyst's reaction would be.

"WAIT, really!? Dang, I didn't know you were in love," the small quartz commented, letting out a raspy giggle.

"No! It-it was to keep our cover from blowing!" Pearl said, rolling her eyes.

"Yeah, it wasn't even a big deal.." Bismuth added. It was to her though, Bismuth would remember this.

Amethyst kept on arguing with them, saying things like "yeah sure", or; "that's how it starts", before Garnet noticed something coming from outside. 

They saw a flying blue shape swatting at something, followed by an angry red shape kicking at the same thing. "Look outside your windows," Garnet whispered.

"Aquamarine and Eyeball?!" Pearl exclaimed quietly, leaning further to the window.

"What are they attacking?" Amethyst asked, eyes widening.

"It looks like a person! We've gotta' help them!" Bismuth announced.

"Bismuth, you and Pearl will go catch her. I'll call Lapis and Peridot for backup," Garnet ordered. "Now go, go, go!"

Bismuth helped Pearl out of the van. "Are you going to be able to fight in that?" Bismuth asked, looking down at her ruffled dress and high-heeled shoes. Pearl threw her heels into the van. "I'll be fine."

"Okay then, Renegade," Bismuth joked, taking Pearl's arm and leading her to the fight.

The Middle of the Park, Battling Aquamarine and Eyeball~

"Hey you uppercrusts!". Aquamarine and Eyeball heard a voice and whipped their heads around. They saw Pearl and Bismuth, weapons in hand.

"I knew it!" Aquamarine said, pointing her conductor at the two gems. She floated up. "You should have picked better gear, you look stupid," Eyeball laughed, and Aquamarine joined in.

Pearl growled. "Shut your mouth!" She demanded. sticking her nose in the air.

"Ooo, some language for a pearl. Don't make me tell your diamond!" Aquamarine mocked.

"That's it!" Bismuth spoke, leaping infront of Pearl and grabbing Aquamarine's legs. "Pearl! Get Eyeball. This shouldn't be too tough."

Eyeball circled around Pearl, throwing punches left and right. Lucky for Pearl, the ruby wasn't the smartest in fighting tactics. She noticed that there was a patch of sand next to the road. It was small, but then again, so was her opponent. Pearl put her hands towards her gem, as it began glowing. Eyeball looked at Aquamarine, and then back at Pearl. The sand lifted from the stone, rising up with Pearl's finger tips. Bismuth's eyes lit up. She hasn't seen Pearl use her psammokenesis since the war. Good to know that Pearl was still a badass. As Pearl's hands motioned towards her enemies, the sand followed, pushing Aquamarine and Eyeball across the peice of land.

"You're-khehe-gonna'-CAU-need more to beHEUGH us!" Aquamarine made out the words, while coughing up sand.

"It's in my eye!" Eyeball screeched, pointing to her singular eye.

"Bismuth?"

"Yeah?"

"Let's bubble them"

"On it," Bismuth said walking towards their challengers, and poofed both of them. She pulled out her communicator "We got them".

Walking Home ~

"Are you sure you want to walk home with me?" Pearl asked. 

"Yeah, it's a nice day today," Bismuth responded, putting her arm around the smaller gem. "So, about that ki-"

Pearl groaned and put her hands over face and blushed. "I know, I know, I could have thought of a better plan. I wasn't thinking straight."

"Oh no, no! It's okay. You're not bad," Bismuth joked, elbowing her side gently.

Pearl gave out a small snort, "You neither. Strictly business, though."

Bismuth stopped for a second, as Pearl kept walking. She grabbed Pearl's miniscule wrist and pulled her closer.

"Bis-" Pearl was stopped by a sudden kiss. It was tired, but was still heart felt. Even Bismuth was shocked that her brain allowed herself to do that, but there was no turning back now. Pearl felt Bismuth's hands grab her hips gently. Bismuth was surprised Pearl hadn't pulled away yet, maybe she felt the same connection as Bismuth did. Pearl's whole face was turning turquoise, she felt herself sweat, yet she didn't want to pull away. She hadn't felt a close romantic connection since Rose died, if Rose even did love her. And the fact that Bismuth was the one to light that fire, made it even better. Then, Bismuth gently pulled away and stared intensely into her friend's dazzling blue eyes. Bismuth's hair intertwined with Pearl's fingers.

"Okay, maybe I can make an exception, for the sake of business."

**Author's Note:**

> Please leave any thoughts down below!  
> Also posted on Wattpad))


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